Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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