i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm like, not good at living.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
