The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
