I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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