I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Plan B is the new Plan A
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
