Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
