Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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