Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Congratulations! We have a period
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