high people should be assigned attendants
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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