y did u give ur computer a hand job?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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