I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
