So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
