yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
