I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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