Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
