i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
