I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
