dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
