Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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