I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
As shirtless as possible
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
