the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
...so i touched it.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
