I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
