Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
someone owes me an orgasm
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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