sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
