Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
