So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
