Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
