Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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