I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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