i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
