I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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