singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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