Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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