My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
