waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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