he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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