all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
