I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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