i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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