So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Less talking, more tequila
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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