She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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