i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
