Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
