She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
