Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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