i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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