I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
