No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
