Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
