This house was built for laser tag.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
