Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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